Domestic Violence
Topic Overview
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior directed at a former or current partner, spouse, or boyfriend or girlfriend. The abuser uses fear and intimidation to gain power and control over the other person. The abuse can take many forms, including physical battering, emotional abuse, economic abuse, and sexual abuse, and may involve using children, pets, threats, intimidation, and isolation.
Domestic violence affects all types of people, regardless of gender, ethnicity, race, sexual identity, socioeconomic status, and religion. It is also called intimate partner abuse, intimate partner violence, family violence, battering, elder abuse, and teen relationship abuse.
Domestic violence is a national problem that touches many lives. It is estimated that 25% of women and 8% of men in the United States have been physically and/or sexually abused by an intimate partner at some point in their adult lives.1 Domestic violence can have tragic conclusions. In those homicides where the killer is identified, about 33% of female murder victims and 4% of male murder victims were killed by their intimate partners.2
Abuse in dating relationships is common among teens. Relationship abuse in teens often takes the form of extreme possessiveness and jealousy. Many teens do not have the experience or maturity to recognize that they are being abused. If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, talk to your parents, another adult family member, or a school counselor or teacher. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).
What are the signs of domestic violence and what makes it more likely to occur?
Domestic violence can begin during dating with subtle jealousy or possessiveness. After the relationship becomes more serious, the abuser may begin making threats, name-calling, and slamming doors or breaking dishes. Abusers often use emotional or financial abuse to try to make the victim feel worthless or helpless. Typically after battering starts, it continues and is likely to become worse. For example, battering that starts with a slap may escalate over time to kicking and shoving and finally choking.3 The abuser might exert control over the victim by threatening violence against his or her children or pets.
Although domestic violence can affect men, a large majority (85%) of its victims are women.2 Poverty and alcohol abuse increase the likelihood that it will occur. People who witnessed domestic violence when they were children are at a higher risk for being in a violent relationship as adults, either as the victim or abuser.4
What are the harmful effects of domestic violence?
Victims not only suffer serious physical injuries from domestic assaults, but they also commonly have chronic health problems from the repeated injuries and stress of living in a violent relationship. Some of these health problems include post-traumatic stress disorder, headaches, chronic neck or back pain, depression, insomnia, and abdominal and/or pelvic pain. And women who are sexually abused by their partners have an increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), unwanted pregnancy, and other problems. Women who experience domestic violence are more likely to smoke, abuse alcohol or drugs, or engage in risky sexual behavior.5
Violence can increase in frequency and intensity during pregnancy. Not surprisingly, problems during pregnancy such as low weight gain, anemia, infections, and bleeding are more common for women who are abused. Abuse during this time has also been shown to increase the baby's risk of low birth weight, premature birth, and death.6, 7
Domestic violence affects not only those abused but also children who witness abuse. Children who grow up around violence are at greater risk for depression, poor school performance, aggressive behavior, withdrawal, and complaints like stomachaches and headaches.8 Teens are at increased risk for depression, drug and alcohol use, and disruptive behavior; and affected teen girls attempt suicide more often.9
Exposure to violence in the home teaches children that violence is a normal way of life and increases their risk of being part of a violent relationship as adults, either as abusers or as victims.10
Why do victims stay?
People who are not abused might find it difficult to understand why anyone would stay in a violent relationship. Victims are often blamed. Some people falsely believe that if a person stays in an abusive relationship, she or he must be weak or needy.
But the issue is more complex than simply leaving or staying. A woman may fear that the abuser will hurt her and her children or take her children away. She may have limited financial options. She may blame herself. She may stay because she does not want to break up the family or for religious reasons. Also, she may still love her abuser and hope that things will get better. A man who is being abused may have a similar experience.
If you know someone who is being abused, be a good listener and supportive friend. Remind her that she and her children are worth better treatment. You may be able to help a victim understand his or her options. You can also suggest that the person contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) to find a local domestic violence group. Understand if the person is reluctant to leave. The person often knows his or her abuser best and what options are safest.
What should I do?
If you are a victim, take steps to decrease your risk of injury, such as memorizing phone numbers you can call in an emergency, and teaching your children not to get in the middle of a fight.
When preparing to leave, develop a safety plan. Your plan might include putting together and hiding a suitcase of clothing, money or charge cards, and important papers, including Social Security cards and birth certificates for you and your children. You might try to open a savings account or obtain a credit card if it is possible to do so secretly.
After you have left, you may have to take extra measures to stay safe. You may want to obtain a protective order (also called a restraining order), which requires the abuser to stay away from you and not contact you. As a victim of a crime, you may also be eligible for additional financial support from the state in which you live. Your local advocacy group can help you get in touch with legal and social services in your area.
Where can I get help?
Contact a local domestic violence group for information and support. To find the program offering shelter and legal support nearest to you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) or see the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence's Web site at www.ncadv.org/resources/state.htm.
Many people fear that their partner will retaliate if they contact the police. If this is the case, an advocate at your local domestic violence program may be able to help you decide about this option. Your advocate can also help you find safe shelter or obtain a protective order if you choose to do so.
Many states allow you to obtain a protective order without an attorney. In some states, the court can also award temporary custody of your children to you, along with child support, spousal support, use of the home and car, and other awards along with the protective order.
While protective orders do not automatically prevent you from being abused, they do deter abusers. In one large study, women who obtained permanent court orders were 80% less likely to be physically or psychologically abused than those who did not receive protective orders.11
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| Author: | Jeannette Curtis | Last Updated: March 20, 2008 |
| Medical Review: | William M. Green, MD - Emergency Medicine Brigid McCaw, MD, MS, MPH, FACP - Family Violence Prevention | |
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